My Immortal REMAKE
by bloodspiller123
Summary: If you all remember "My Immortal" Than you must remember how stupid it was. Well I am remaking it. I am just doing an experiment. Such a horrible story got so many reviews so I just wanted to see what would happen if I made one of my own.
1. Chapter 1

Because of the previous writer of "My Immortal", there was some serious fuss on the internet concerning Tara Gillespies horrible dialog, abscence of appropiate plot, also atrocious spelling and use of grammar I thought I might rewrite "My Immortal". I am sure you are all thinking, "Oh God another Tara Troller trying to rot our brains like the original," but don't worry. This will be way better. There will be no OOC, or Goffick sex and "I ran to my room suicidally masturbating to a picture of vampire goffickly humping a Good Charlotte cd". That is just pure retardation right there. No, this will be a huge success and it will make Tara look stupid.  
Now in order to not make Tara to mad, I decided to make it seem a bit "goffick" and "suicidal" but with a twist. I don't know how to be gothic seeing that I'm not and nor is Tara. She's just a "poser" and a "prep"  
as she likes to call the critics making negative comments on her. Who goes on and on tlaking about there "goffick" outfit? Anyway, this isn't about Tara is it? So lets move on. Sorry about the large paragraph and Tara sorry about the insult, I'm just saying what needs to be XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX My name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. I am a 7th year student at Hogwarts. For those of you who are not familiar with Hogwarts,  
it is a school for young wizards, witches and others in need of an education to control their powers, use wants fly broomsticks and what not. Not only am I a witch but I'm also a vampire. I haven't been attending Hogwarts very long, in fact I've only been going here for about three months and I have already made quite a few friends, there is Harry"Vampire"  
Potter, and Hermione"B'loody Mary Smith", Ron "Diabolo", and also last but not least my current love interest Draco. Unfortunately I am too shy to express my feelings for him but he seems to not like me back so it's all good...I guess. But enough with introduction.  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "Hello Ebony,"Draco said shyly.  
"Uh, hi Draco,"I replied. I pushed my book close to my chest as me and Draco walked to class. Suddenly, a large owl flew by causing me to loose balance and fall but lucky for me Draco was there to catch me. My books dropped to the floor and his eyes dropped to mine.  
"Draco,"I whispered. He then helped me to my feet and helped me pick up my books. I brushed off my uniform and continued walking to class with Draco.  
"Thanks Draco,"I continued,"I thought for sure I'd have a bloody nose"  
"No problem,"Draco said and smiled. We finally got to class but we hadn't noticed how late we were.  
"You are late!" exclaimed Snape.  
"I'm sorry sir,"I responded.  
"I want to hear no excuses have a seat , Draco I'm sure your father wouldn't appreciate this tardiness.  
I'll alert about this after class, now to your seat!"  
"Sir he was only helping me pick up my books. I'm so clumsy. Please sir, please spare him."I pleaded.  
"Your whining isn't going to work, you may be new here , but I'm sure tardiness was unacceptable in your old acedemy,"  
I opened my mouth to speak but not words came out. Snape still continued his rant."Under no circumstances will I allow you to come into MY class 10 minutes late and expect me to spare you the misery. since you are new and you haven't been late before I'll let you off with a warning if it happens again your going to take a visit to Dumbledore. And as for you Draco, I'll see you after class."  
"Shut up!"Draco yelled. It was obvious that he grew tired of Snapes constant blabbering that he just snapped.  
Snape had no word so he pointed to the door. I looked at my shoes, to ashamed to look at Draco because I was unable to defend him. After class I walked back to my room with Vampire and B'loody Mary. I began to cut my hair because I felt that I was too shy. I hid my face behind my hair just like I hid myself from the world behind my shell.  
"What are you doing!" Hermione(B'loody Mary) yelled.  
I didn't answer I just kept cutting my hair. I cried like a baby until I ran out the room to Dracos. A group of boys stopped me asking me who I was.  
"Hey you are cute I haven't seen you around before," one said.  
I kept running and when I got to his room his father was there.  
"Ebony? What are you-"I grabbed onto DRaco not letting him finish his sentence.  
"I'm sorry Draco!"I cried,"I'm sorry I couldn't help"  
"Ebony it's alright. It's not a big deal."He tried to comfort me,"I tlaked it out with my father and he understands completely what happened."  
"Yes , I think you had an acceptable excuse for being late. Just don't let it happen again or I wont be able to help you next time."  
I smiled and hugged Dracos father."OH you cut your hair?"Draco asked.  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX OK so the first chapter wasn't that good and as you can see Ebony is totally OOC and so is everyone else but don't worry everything will go back to normal I mean we really haven't seen much of the characters personities but Draco is an ass in THE REAL HARRY POTTER so I'm going to make him more assier.  
I also don't like how Draco and Ebony are in love but thats how everything has to be. If I get any bad reviews I wont call you a prep or poser. And I wont delete. You have a right to express your opinion. If you say it's crap I'm going to agree since its only the first chapter but it'll get better once I add the killing and shit. Oh yeah sorry to spoil the amazing surprise but "goffick" Ebony Dementia whatever the fuck her name is DIES! in the second chapter because she is killed but hardcore vampire hunter Zanna of the Zaeggits acommpanied but her friend Leonnerd. Honestly I think vampires suck well not the originals like Dracula and Van Helsing but Ebony sucks. There is honestly no way to improve her unless you are the perfect writer so why not kill her off? I'm sure the opnly hater I will have is Tara. And it makes me sad to know that I pissed off the most hideously untalented and uncreative gothic wannabe poser in the world. Oh yeah and the only bisexual people in this is Darling, the drunk.  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 


	2. Chapter II

Don't worry about Draco and Ebony right now. It's better that we hold that off and let the relationship develope better. Something that most fanfic authors avoid.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After a month me and Draco started to drift apart. It seemed that he had found new love with Martia Lavae. An exchange student from France. Every morning I'd pray that Draco would once again look at me the way he did that day...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Useless,"I said,"How useless I am."I began to wash the blood off my hand.

"What did you do to yourself Ebony?"Hermione asked concerned as to why I was bleeding. I couldn't tell her that I was cutting myself or she would get me help so I lied.

"I was cutting onions,"explaining why I was crying,"and I slipped and accidently got my hand."

She looked at me in disbelief but finally she accepted and walked off.

"Make sure you wash the onion so your eyes don't burn,"she stated.

I nodded and continued washing my hands. After that I walked down the hall to Snapes office.

"Proffessor Snape,"I whispered. No response. I called his name again and there was still no answer. I opened the door a crack and peeked in and found Snape at his desk. Head down on the desk.

"Snape!"I screamed. He lifted his head and his eyes were glowing bright green and a green fog slowly started to come out of his mouth. He shook and finally the fog stopped and he fell to the floor.

"AHHHHHH!!!!!!"I screamed,"Snapes dead! Snapes dead! Someone! Dumbledore!,"

I panicked. My heart was racing and tears ran down my face. My eyeliner started running along with them. I just couldn't take it and then after all that I passed out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	3. Chapter III

It's nice to see people are reading my story but I was hoping I would get some reviews. Of course, I know, the fanfic isn't that great. Actually it's the worse I have ever came up with. I'm not really used to making fanfics because usually when I write stories they are my own original ideas and not some fan version of another persons work. I am just practicing with fanfiction so my writing skills get better. Honestly, this is just practice. Please give reviews though. Thank you so much for reading3

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What is all that noise?"Madame Hooch said. She noticed Ebony on the floor and called Snape but Snape didn't answer. Soon after she discovered Snapes body in the room. "Oh my God," was all she could say. She called for all the teachers and they arranged a meeting.

Later on Ebony had awaken after a short, what seemed like a minor coma.

"Where am I,"she said with her eyes to the ceiling.

"You are in heaven,"replied a familiar voice.

"No, what,"Ebony closed her eyes and looked around and noticed Draco.

"You are in heaven,"Draco said,"I am your guardian angel."

"No you aren't,"Ebony continued,"There is no way Draco would be in heaven and be an angel."

Draco laughed and grabbed Ebony's nose.

"Ow!"she screamed,"What the hell?"

"You are an idiot,"he chuckled. He finally left the room still laughing like a hyenna leaving Ebony alone near Snape.

Suddenly, Ebony heard loud groaning. She immediately popped her head up above the short wall blocking her view and again passed out as she saw Snape lying adjacent to her in his own bed. After 10 minutes she woke up and stared at him in shock. She leaned over and poked Snape in his cheek. Then she checked his pulse. She watched in disbelief. "There is no way," she murmured to herself,"I saw him...he was dead. I know he was."

"Unless,"Snape said."That was the real Snape."

She gasped."Snape! You're alive!"

"Yes very,"Snape replied in a monotone voice.

"Than if you are the real Snape who was that other man?"

"It was him,"

"You mean,"Snape stopped her from continuing but she said it anyways,"Voldemorte?"

"Shush girl,"

"Sorry sir,"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


End file.
